This is my very own new device, a tablet (It’s a Lenevo tab 2 a10-70), making it my first entry on wordpress with it. I’ve just started my studies, which means I’ve only just gotten out of the sour hell that it was trying to get work (and swinging by depressing meetings with social services (that only made my life that much more difficult)), and I’ve actually fallen in love with my new life.
Perhaps I’m this enthusiastic about my studies because I’m no longer clinging to the “comfortable” idea of death as opposed to before when every interaction with NAV made me want to kill myself seven times in a row.
I’m not gonna get overly excited, but I am actually authentically, and amazingly enough, happy. Unless I’m bipolar and this is just another ‘up’ in an otherwise fairly rollercoaster-like existance.
I’m probably feeling this good because I’m relieved. I had months of stress, depression, worries, negativity and impossibility, and now that life is less impossible to live, it feels great.
I can finally progress. I had a look at live as uneducated, unqualified, and it scared the living shite (thats how shitty it was) out of me. It was definitely not for me. I need to get enough work in a life like that, or I’ll go crazy. And excuse me for being so bold, but social services (NAV) is not a fucking free ticket to an easy life. It’s fucking hell, steared by incompetant cold robots, and no matter how much you try to get your shit together, everythings impossible, and they don’t want you to improve, because it’s a shitty system that doesn’t work, and no one wants to help you eventhough their brochures say differently.
I’ve started my studies, and I make sure I read the assigned texts, and I’m actually enjoying it. I never thought I was interested in learning in this standard way (actually studying), but here I am. I’m gonna study the shit out of my new books, and I’m gonna apprichiate every single second of it. Because being able to go to school and learn about relevant stuff that I will benefit from now as later, is a privelige, and one I’m not willing to forget all about.
So I’m grateful. I’m happy to have learned how hard life without education can be, and I’m thankful that I hadn’t spoiled all my chances for studying before realizing the importance of education.
I live in a student city. Bergen is just filled with knowledge. I can’t wait to fill my brain with names, dates, rules of grammar, to understand the development of language, to become a smarter and more interesting version of myself.
After all, knowledge is key. Key to what, you say?
Oh, just everything.
As I’m sitting here at Dromedar coffee shop (not the kind of coffee shop that sells special brownies and whatnot), I find myself surrounded by noise. Mostly students chatting about all kinds of irrelevant unimportant subjects, sound of a steamer attached to a big coffee machine of some sorts, silent footsteps of people going in and out of the shop, and the almost innoticable song of Jimi Hendrix in the far background.
The song changes into something christmas-like jingly shitty tune, and my bladder is close to overreaching it’s limited capacity. Staying hydrated is one of the best and worst things you can do to your normal, everyday situations, because you will feel better – but you’ll also need a toilet every forth hour or so.
Im waiting for my friend Martine. She’s kind of like a vampire, sleeps during the day and can’t sleep at night. Come to think of it, thats probably her meant-to-be situation. She’s too restless at night, and of course that’s because she’s meant to be hunting! I can’t believe it.. I cant wait to tell her about this genious conclusion, I’m sure it will be appriciated.
My legs are shaking, I grow impatient, and I realize that I’m running out of time. She’s here!!!!!