It’s been a while since my last update. I tried to write about dreams and expectations, as to oneself and others around, but I found that I wasn’t able to do so, as I couldn’t stop crying. I guess you can say that it got too personal. The picture above, is of me and my best girl, Asbjørg, as the sun finally rises above Himalaya in Nepal. Asbjørg is my soul-twin. Talking to her always makes my day, as her soul completes mine. No, we’re not romantically involved if that’s what you were thinking. We’re just… alike. We found each other at Seljord Folkhøgskole, were we were both attending a one-year-program as singer/songwriters.
Weirdly enough, we didn’t really talk that much the first couple of months. I feel like it all started with the cheese-doodles-incident. She sent me a snap-chat asking what I was doing. I sent her a picture of myself with a bunch of cheese doodles sticking out of my mouth. She asked if she could get some, because she was starving. It was in the middle of the night, so there were no meals being served. I said of course, and she came to my dorm wearing nothing but her bed-sheets. We ate, she gave me Snus, and we just jammed for hours. Yeah, I’d say this is where it all started.
Asbjørg is like the childhood bestie that I never had. When we’re together, we talk about life, we talk about the meaning of life, and we try to make sense of our millions of thoughts around the subjects. All of my problems seem to wither in her presence, and vice versa.
We share the same dreams, and we share the same feelings and thoughts.
So what do I do when I don’t have this amazing person around me? I get lost into a study of which I never had plans about attending. I get lost in a program that delays everything I was going to do. I put my dreams on hold.
Luckily we have an incredible thing called the internet, and as I was talking to her on Skype, she asked me how I was.
And everything took off from there. I wasn’t good. I wasn’t great. I was living a lie. My decisions had caught up with me by then, and I was miserable. I had disappeared in other people’s words and meanings, and I had become inadequate and apathetic. Prioritizing other people’s values above my own, was a foolish thing to do, as it left me feeling like I was an insignificant sheep loosing it’s identity.
I found my way back, and I finally left the life that I so stupidly had started. After all, starting my studies had been an impulse decision of which I had made as a result of caving in to the interference that came from my own family. And my family isn’t me. It is a part of me, but it does not define me and the life I am living. At least it shouldn’t.
I will have adventure. I will reach for my dreams, I will try to succeed in my own way. I will live the life that I want for myself. So what if that doesn’t measure up to the expectations that my parents have? Perhaps I am choosing a difficult path, but who is anyone to say that it’s too difficult for me? Saying that something’s impossible before it’s been tried out, it’s ignorant and naive, right?
If we don’t try to achieve our dreams, what are we then? What’s the point of dreaming if you don’t do anything about it? I believe that if you ignore your heart’s desire, the thoughts that makes you smile, the daydreaming, it will eventually disappear, and that will leave anyone in despair. You should come first, as it is your life. Taking risks is a part of the adventure. Taking risks is a part of life.
I can’t wait to get started. I can’t wait to see everything that the world has to offer. And most of all, I can’t wait to do this with my best friend, Asbjørg.
I can’t wait to share our adventure with you. After all, happiness is best when shared.
So for now, stay awesome.
Follow your beliefs, follow your dreams
and above all; follow your heart.
It may not be the safest thing to do,
but in the end…
is anything ever really safe?