Today I would like to write about love and commitment.
Relationships and promises. Forever and never. Love.
The “I love you so much I hate you”, the “I am yours and you
are mine”, the “I love you more than you love me”, and of course
the “Let’s just break it off”.
Love never dies, it moves, it changes. So when we decide not
to be a part of the couple we once were, it’s not about lost love
and broken promises. It’s not about false impressions, or lies.
It’s rather the change of love, and the changes within the
individuals, spiritually and maybe even physically.
Sure, it is beautiful when two people find each other,
experience love at first sight, and stay together for the rest
of their lives. But if they stay together, just because of a
promise, just because of commitment, or the fear of living
alone, is it not more pathetic than beautiful?
Perhaps I am being cynical here.
Love and commitment deserve all the respect in the world.
To make a decision and to stick with it forever, it is truly
a remarkable thing to do. And if that commitment makes
you happy, wake up with a smile on your face, then my guess
is that you are a very lucky person.
Maybe we can create our own happiness. I’m not saying that
every relationship has their expiration date, although a lot of
couples break up just because they don’t want to sort out the
quarrels and issues that they may have along the way, it’s
just that I believe that some people are meant to fall in love,
but not to stay together.
After all, it is when we love that we are the most alive.
It is when we fall in love that we awaken, feel every beat of
our hearts, dance in the rain, and lie sleepless in our beds just
thinking of things we can’t change or manipulate.
Love is what makes life interesting.
But get this, being miserable is also all of those things. It
is beautiful, the pain that comes with loss. It is remarkable,
the loneliness, the loss of control. The longing for the voice
you used to hear so often, and the spring that makes you
anxious, excited, bubbling with anticipation – just before
fall in love all over again.
Love never dies, but a relationship can end. Personalities
change, our goals and dreams evolve, and sometimes that
leads to a break-up. Sometimes it leads to a new special
chapter of the relationship.
But if one person thinks it’s a bad idea to continue the
romance, there’s no use in convincing them otherwise.
Sometimes we don’t understand our partner’s decision.
Personally I think it’s best to talk about it properly, so that
there’s no confusion as to why it’s over. If the other person
is not ready to hear explanations, decides to blame you, and
respond with anger and arguments, then that’s their choice.
Maybe someday they will realize that it was for the best.
I don’t have much to say about the perfect relationship,
because there is no issues, no doubt, no misery…
To promise forever, and leave the next day, is not a good
commitment. To promise forever, and then months later
find that there is not much hold in the relationship, is
evolving and realizing factors that you were too in love
to see before.
It is of course hard to hurt someone you care about.
But if it feels right, it is right. Pain will decrease, become
more and more transparent, and eventually spring will
come once more. Acceptance is important, and in time
it will come. We love, we love differently, we change.
I don’t think there’s anything bad in love. Regardless.
And maybe we even learn how to love better as we
change and dare to move on.
Stay awesome <3